Bits of Memories

bits of memories come to life again
they haunt me now
that i finally found my way
they scare me
they take my breath away

I endured a lot
or so I say
I've worked really hard
or so I say
or so they say
they want more though
but no I say
I'm tired
and lonely
again I say..
to myself though
that I say
..
every night I cry
You're not here with me
but every night I cry
"it haunts me
it haunts me"
everyday I cry
"I'm scared and I'm lonely"
everyday I cry
but you
don't hear me
every night
that I cry

I can't bring myself to say anything to you
because I know that you
have been trying too
..
all the patience I kept alive crumbles down and falls to pieces 
I pray to God
to find some peace and I
collect the pieces
I pick up my speed and I
run
despite the bleeding 
I'm out of breath and I
stop to breathe but I
can't
so I crumble down to another million bits and pieces and you
you don't know
..
you give me a call
i get off the phone
and i pick up
myself again
and I pace
once again..
..
but you don't know
how hard it is that I try
and those tears 
they won't dry
but the more that I cry
the more that I see
of myself
the one that I left behind

can you hear me?
are you here?
me
do you miss me?

I’ve finally found my way to you
but those memories ..
they won't go

8 Oct. 2019